So it's 2015, and I am still managing the dermatomyositis without oral medication. The last time I visited my dermatologist, she wouldn't put me back on the prednisone because I had never lost the weight that I gained from the prednisone previously. So, the idea that weight gained when you are on prednisone goes away when you get off of it is not always true. I never lost the weight.
Additionally, I had been depressing my immune system by eating sugar - on purpose - because it stopped the itching.
My dermatologist gave me 3 different topical medications: one for my neck and upper back, one for my head and scalp, and one for my hands and arms. I use the topical medications when the outbreaks are itchy and red and irritated. I use an antihistamine when the itching is out of control. It stops the itching, and she said I could continue to do that.
She also sent my to my general practitioner for consult and blood work. I had become pre-diabetic, pre-high blood pressure, and pre-high cholesterol. Basically, I was a mess and definitely over weight. I had gained 55 pounds in this process, and not able to get the weight off. I recognized the symptoms of being pre-diabetic. I was thirsty all the time and felt like I had to go to the bathroom - urinate - all the time. My skin was dry and flaky around my mouth, and my hands were horribly dry.
I cut all the sugar out completely and immediately. I'm not trying to kill myself just to manage dermatomyositis. I want my health in tact. I have a long bucket list, and my children are starting to have children of their own. I would like to be around to enjoy my family and my partner. I am motivated to change my situation is my point. If you are in a similar situation, you have to find your motivation. I personally want a high quality of living if I am going to be on this planet.
So I cut out sugar and started watching my carbs. I also made more of an effort to go to the gym to at least exercise on the treadmill, bike or in the pool. I started riding my bike. That is what my rheumatologist had told me would help. Keep moving, keep the lymph and muscles flushed out so I don't accumulate the bad stuff that causes the break down in the muscles and joints. I really had slowed down on the exercise.
In January my partner bought me a Vivofit. That has been amazing because I can track my calories - something I have NEVER DONE. I had no idea how much excess healthy food I was eating. Did you know an avocado is 350 calories!?!!! OMG I came to understand that I was eating healthy for like 2-3 people!! So calories and portion size reduced immediately. With the Vivofit, you can track your calories and daily activity. It reminds you to move when you have been sitting for too long, which improves your metabolism. Awesome!! I had lost about 10 pounds before I got it, and now I've lost another 10 pounds with it!! I also like that it helps me be aware of my movement by tracking how many steps I take in a day. If I hit my quota, I'm on the path to weight loss. If not, I know I will stagnate.
More than anything, I am simply more aware of my calories and my exercise. It's amazing. I really never had to do that before, so I was not aware. If you are in a similar place in your struggle with dermatomyositis, or even with weight loss, consider getting a device that allows you to track your food and exercise. However, I do NOT recommend this if you have a history of food disorders. My partner does, and she quit tracking her calories as soon as she was clear on food portions that worked because the idea of tracking was sending her back into food disorder mode. If you are under the care of a physician or counselor for a food disorder, you need to work with them before taking on using a tracker. IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT YOU DO NOT TRIGGER YOUR FOOD DISORDER :)
Be healthy ya'll!! Til next time!
Showing posts with label Healthy choices. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Healthy choices. Show all posts
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Monday, September 9, 2013
Why We Choose to be Sick
I was reflecting this morning on what I have learned over the decades with regard to health and healing.
Healing can come in miracle quickness, or miracle passage of time. Either way, healing is a gift freely given. So why doesn't healing come immediately through either medicine or prayer? The infinite question of mankind: why do people have to suffer?
Ponder three possibilities: 1) We choose to suffer, 2) Our suffering is as a result of the actions of another human being, or force of nature, 3) We are born with ailments with no explanation. To know which category your suffering falls under requires self reflection, honesty, and in the case of the first possibility, personal accountability.
Unfortunately, when we are born, we are born into a set of circumstances we don't choose (or did we - but that is a subject for latter consideration). We are surrounded by adults who have the responsibility of raising us based on what they have learned and experienced in the process of becoming adults, based on what they believe, and based on what they choose for themselves that ultimately affects us.
Until we are the age of majority and can live independently, which ranges from 16 to 21 years depending on how ready you are to leave the nest, we are programmed by our circumstances and upbringing.
Now you are thinking, "This really is possibility number 2: Our suffering is as a result of the actions of another human being ..." Yes, and no. Because when we leave the nest, we are ultimately responsible for ourselves. All that we experience as children either follows us for the better or the worse.
For example, if you were raised eating vegetables, you will most likely eat vegetables when you grow up - unless ... you were forced to eat vegetables - that you didn't like - and then you CHOOSE to NEVER eat vegetables again for as long as you live.
In this example, the way that the choice was presented to you impacts your future choices - AS LONG AS YOU LET IT. YOU made a decision at some point to NEVER do something again based on another person's presentation of the choice, but it was still YOU that made the decision. So you can remain entangled in an emotion that occurred possibly decades ago, or you can release the emotion to make a healthy choice. And this is why I say "We choose to suffer."
So what happens when this young person grows up? As long as that person regards the parent as a controlling factor to be conquered, he/she may continue the cycle of anorexia. What happens if they choose to disregard the parent as a controlling factor, regarding themselves as the ultimate person in control of their life? That is being honest, conducting self reflection, and becoming accountable for their actions.
One must separate oneself from the controlling factor that is used as an EXCUSE not to do what is best FOR ONESELF, or one is in the position of CHOOSING TO SUFFER.
If you truly self-reflect, the root of your un-health, in a situation where it is you who is choosing to suffer, is either based on Pride or Fear. Pride: you are unwilling to admit your choices are your choices. Fear: you are afraid of losing control. Change means feeling out of control for a period of time until a new habit is formed. Once a new and better habit is formed, the feeling of being out of control will go away because you are now in control of the new habit. You have successfully created, by your own choice, a new habit that benefits you.
What happens when the emotional injury is deep? It takes longer to recover, but recovery is possible if you CHOOSE - if you have the capacity to choose. Most people have the capacity to choose.
Where do you start? You start with changing how you think about yourself and your circumstances. Regard yourself as an intelligent human being who may make good choices for oneself because you CHOOSE to respect yourself. If you don't believe yourself to be that person, if you have low self esteem, low self worth, then you have the challenge of finding your worth first. For that I recommend you read my other blog: Love Your Neighbor As Yourself.
**Although the example of anorexia was used, the author understands that there are many reasons a person may become anorexic. Relationships with parents is only one. This is not intended to be a diagnosis, or statement of absolute fact. It is merely an example based on research and personal experience with those who have suffered from anorexia for the reason cited.
Healing can come in miracle quickness, or miracle passage of time. Either way, healing is a gift freely given. So why doesn't healing come immediately through either medicine or prayer? The infinite question of mankind: why do people have to suffer?
Ponder three possibilities: 1) We choose to suffer, 2) Our suffering is as a result of the actions of another human being, or force of nature, 3) We are born with ailments with no explanation. To know which category your suffering falls under requires self reflection, honesty, and in the case of the first possibility, personal accountability.
For the moment, I'm only going to address the first possibility: We choose to suffer. Why would anyone choose to suffer, you might ask?
Original Circumstances
Unfortunately, when we are born, we are born into a set of circumstances we don't choose (or did we - but that is a subject for latter consideration). We are surrounded by adults who have the responsibility of raising us based on what they have learned and experienced in the process of becoming adults, based on what they believe, and based on what they choose for themselves that ultimately affects us.
Until we are the age of majority and can live independently, which ranges from 16 to 21 years depending on how ready you are to leave the nest, we are programmed by our circumstances and upbringing.
Now you are thinking, "This really is possibility number 2: Our suffering is as a result of the actions of another human being ..." Yes, and no. Because when we leave the nest, we are ultimately responsible for ourselves. All that we experience as children either follows us for the better or the worse.
For example, if you were raised eating vegetables, you will most likely eat vegetables when you grow up - unless ... you were forced to eat vegetables - that you didn't like - and then you CHOOSE to NEVER eat vegetables again for as long as you live.
In this example, the way that the choice was presented to you impacts your future choices - AS LONG AS YOU LET IT. YOU made a decision at some point to NEVER do something again based on another person's presentation of the choice, but it was still YOU that made the decision. So you can remain entangled in an emotion that occurred possibly decades ago, or you can release the emotion to make a healthy choice. And this is why I say "We choose to suffer."
An Extreme Example
An extreme yet valid example is that of a young person whose life is so controlled by a parent that the only way that they know how to retaliate or take control back is to become anorexic - controlling his/her eating to a detrimental degree. It may be the only control he or she has over the parent, as well. It may be used as an emotional weapon to conquer the parent's attempt at being a dictator. However, the result is devastating on the young person.
So what happens when this young person grows up? As long as that person regards the parent as a controlling factor to be conquered, he/she may continue the cycle of anorexia. What happens if they choose to disregard the parent as a controlling factor, regarding themselves as the ultimate person in control of their life? That is being honest, conducting self reflection, and becoming accountable for their actions.
One must separate oneself from the controlling factor that is used as an EXCUSE not to do what is best FOR ONESELF, or one is in the position of CHOOSING TO SUFFER.
The Process of Change
Is this an easy process? No, of course not. Stubborn pride can prevent us from changing. Fear of FEELING controlled or out of control can also prevent us from changing. Few other things except Pride or Fear interfere with our choices to be healthier individuals.If you truly self-reflect, the root of your un-health, in a situation where it is you who is choosing to suffer, is either based on Pride or Fear. Pride: you are unwilling to admit your choices are your choices. Fear: you are afraid of losing control. Change means feeling out of control for a period of time until a new habit is formed. Once a new and better habit is formed, the feeling of being out of control will go away because you are now in control of the new habit. You have successfully created, by your own choice, a new habit that benefits you.
What happens when the emotional injury is deep? It takes longer to recover, but recovery is possible if you CHOOSE - if you have the capacity to choose. Most people have the capacity to choose.
Where do you start? You start with changing how you think about yourself and your circumstances. Regard yourself as an intelligent human being who may make good choices for oneself because you CHOOSE to respect yourself. If you don't believe yourself to be that person, if you have low self esteem, low self worth, then you have the challenge of finding your worth first. For that I recommend you read my other blog: Love Your Neighbor As Yourself.
**Although the example of anorexia was used, the author understands that there are many reasons a person may become anorexic. Relationships with parents is only one. This is not intended to be a diagnosis, or statement of absolute fact. It is merely an example based on research and personal experience with those who have suffered from anorexia for the reason cited.
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